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Tuesday, 16 January 2007

Currently Watching
How I Met Your Mother - Season 1
By How I Met Your Mother
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Freudian Slips
I do not agree with much that Freud had to say, but when I first learned the term Freudian Slip, I was intrigued at the notion. We all trip up when we speak one time or another, and when we do there is that seldom, or not so seldom occasion where we misplace, omit, or insert a word or phrase that our conscious self did not mean mean to do. Now if you're lucky, the slip occured among close friends, or if not, the slip was harmless, casual, and eventually forgotten. However it are those times, amongs in-laws, coworkers, clients, first dates or even exes that can get you into trouble.

Tuesday, 19 December 2006

Union
I was thinking about the wedding that I got to be a part of this past weekend. This being the first time I've been a groomsmen, the experience was pretty fun and amazing. I have to say that I can't be prouder that two good friends have gotten married. I am blessed just to know them. In seeing the people, the planning, the effort that goes into accomplishing an event like this, you can't help but be taken aback. As a groomsmen, I can't really say that I did anything, other than stand there. I mean, I did try to provide moral support as well as run as many errands we could get a hold of, but still it pales in comparison to the work of the bride and groom, their parents, the bridesmaids, the coordinators, etc. I've been trying to reflect, but there seems to be some sort of mental block, those few days immersed in wedding prep are all jumbled in my head. So much to process, so much to think of, so much to relate to other aspects of my life. I kept on telling my friend, another groomsmen, that the groom was now a full 2 life stages ahead of us. Dating->Marriage. It blows me away to think of the level of maturity it takes to be where he's at. And how I am still far away from that. I look to the future and don't see my life going on the same path as he, yet part of me wants to so badly. I know that we should not envy the cards dealt to another, and I don't. But I can't help but wonder what my life will look like when so much is in the air, and how another's seems so well laid out.

Friday, 01 December 2006

Stressed
I haven't felt this way in a while, and probably won't for an equally long while. I'm taking the LSAT Saturday morning and this whole week was devoted to cramming. I've spent countless hours taking practice tests, reviewing the answers, practicing logic games, being timed, thinking how I'd organize the writing sample, computing possible scores and tendencies so that'd I know if I bombed that I could cancel the score. Still, the way things are going I haven't really achieved what I was hoping to. I've read the books, taken the tests, but I guess nothing can quite simulate the actual test. So that's what I'm stressed about. I thought that I was fine, not worrying to much, until my patience wore thin and other signs that I was stressing rose to the surface. Less than 48 hours now. In 48 hours it'll all be over, and I might just be spent. I'm already feeling the effects, after only being awake for 11 hours or so I have a massive headache, not enough quiet... or maybe too much. Improper lighting? Who knows, but I feel like my body is in shock from the sudden kickstart. I haven't taken a test since I left Spain, and probably won't take another one til I go to grad school, check that, IF I go to grad school.
All in all it's been a humbling experience. It's been 2 months since I left my job and it's been a big blur. I've had my share of fun, my share of working hard, this and that. The next two months is where things really get going. How do I keep responsible? There are so many "projects" that I want to start, but when it gets down to it, I seem to always make time instead for DS9 at 2pm, and end up staying until the next 3 TNG's are done. As I crouch here at the foot of my bed, I really am oblivious of what's to come. The light stand I just put up in my room as illuminated the slovenly mess that is my room. Disorder.

Thursday, 09 November 2006

Currently Listening
Speak For Yourself
By Imogen Heap, Imogen Heap
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Crossroads
It's getting late again, I've been sleeping later and later, consequently I've been getting up just as late. I'm not bothered as much by it, good things have come up from it as a result. The dreams that have been running through my mind have become more vivid, with more real people and I guess, more dynamic adventures. Actually in the time I have for about 2-3 hours before I do go to sleep, I get to catch up on news, listen to music, check email and blog all in peace. Everyone else gets up early and I think that peace is what I value a lot. Unlike during the day I do not watch tv this late at night, well at least I try not to. It's just me and my computer, or a book, or something else that allows everything to decompress.
Once again I'm at a crossroads. I guess these types of times can be really perplexing, but as I'm beginning to learn about myself is that I do better when I'm cornered and have to make a decision than when things are safe and I'm free to roam in an open field. Right now, I've told people that I'm using my time to evaluate things, evaluate life, make decisions about my immediate future. Change is on the horizon. While I'm pretty two-faced about the whole situation. It seems like today I'm calm, actually hopeful about what the next two months are going to be like. Last week I was a mess, second guessing most of the decisions I've ever made in my entire life. It's good to be optimistic today.
It seems as if the more I absorb/learn about life, the more complex things become. It can either be reading news on the internet, or watching tv, listening to a friend share, any number of stimuli. Amazing how much the human brain can retain. And still I keep going, pouring knowledge or so-called knowledge to what end? I want to change from someone who just absorbs stuff, to someone who actually uses what he knows to pour into something else. For some reason I don't think I can achieve this through a job, but rather as a human being living life. What does that mean? I'm not quite sure myself, but somewhere in my mental pathways it makes sense. I love to run away from what I don't know, I'll watch or make inferences from the unknown, but when it physically approaches I run.
???

Wednesday, 30 August 2006

Boring People

I was reading an article on "7 Perfect Dates". It talked about these creative ideas for meeting up with that special someone. Then I thought about expectations and how many of us really expect that level of creativity and activity from our significant other. When I think about my sister and her husband, I don't necessarily think of them as boring people. But if I analyze their activities, what they enjoy doing, how often they actually do them and the level of enjoyment they actually have, they may seem like boring people.

I've thought about this before, and have often wondered to myself, whether I am able to pull off all these sorts of creative dates. Many times my answers are no. But then I think of when I am with the person that I love, will it matter what we do at all? The answer to that question is: probably not. So this leads me to believe that we as people, require very little. Aren't we all just boring people? Then why do we spend our money, energy and time to set up elaborate events that in the end we'll probably end up forgetting? Well, I guess we do it, just to have and excuse to be with someone. No one's gonna ask someone else on a date watching tv on the couch for 3 hours. Even though, that's just what we want to do. Be honest, isn't that what married people do? Stay home, enjoy the company of another individual, and just be.

It looks as if our whole mating ritual is merely a collection of dates that serve no other purpose that to fuel our economy and go through the motions so we can share in rite of passage known as dating. When the truth behind it all is that we just want to find someone and be with them. Boring people we are and all we want to do is find the right boring person and be boring with. I'm saying boring shouldn't have its negative connotation, but instead be what we all admit that we are. So, how am I going to find that special someone? I guess I'm going to have to be creative.